A Final Note - Or: Preface, actually....

Had I known that this Blog site did not allow one to re-arrange Blogs so that they are ordered nicely in the writer's chosen chronology, I would have written the story backwards. But, alas... If you should stumble across this blog, you will have to scroll down to Chapter 1, and then scroll up to find where Chapter 2 begins, and so on, in order to follow this story chronologically (because for some reason, the menu of chapters does not always appear on the right - especially on the FIRST chapter. Which leaves one to assume there is no continuation to the story.)

SO... my deepest apologies for the inconvenience. But, it took me too darned long to write and publish this and i just don't have the time to start over or find a different site or way of displaying Chickie's story in a way that makes it easier for the reader to follow.

I DID try to keep the story all in ONE blog - but it appeared that this site only allowed up to so much data within ONE blog, which is why I ended up dividing it into chapters (5 separate blogs). I later came to find out that this probably wasn't true and it was only freezing up on me due to internet traffic jams or something.

TOO LATE.

One last note I failed to mention in my story is how Chickie caused a group forum of approx. 800 members (the forum referred to in Chapter 1 of this story) to crumble and divide when I was asked by a moderator to please limit/stop posting about Chickie - Because the Chickie topic was overwhelming the actual topic of the forum as more people began to fall in love with Chickie & wish to hear more about her. I quietly and humbly decided to respect the moderator's wishes & unsub from the group (because I felt I could not control keeping my mouth shut about Chickie) - and my GOODNESS!!! What happened next!!!!! Nearly all the active members of the group went into an uproar, they unsubbed as well, called out to form a NEW group, ... and a new group was formed where we can still discuss the topic of the old group, but also have the freedom to continue hearing about Chickie. This new group's mascot is (guess who?) - Chickie, herself, ofcourse! The forum group topic is: "Invisible Pain" (those who suffer from chronic pain diseases and/or syndromes)

Anyway... I hope you all enjoy and appreciate the story, and i'll try to keep you all updated once in a while on how my little Chickie is doing out there in the Jungle.

For now: Chickie and I say ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA! to you all & blessings!

-Jaana & Chickie-Meister-Hahn

And.......in the spirit of Thanks Giving, here's a fun clip that was sent to me a few days ago - worth watching after reading the Chickie Story: http://www.msn.americangreetings.com/view.pd?i=382219626&m=1652&rr=y&sou

chickens

CHICKIE STORY - Part 5

THE CHICKIE STORY - PART 5

MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!!

YES, that is a ziplock baggie on her head.

There was only one veterinarian on the island willing to help a "common chicken" - and he specializes in HORSES. At home, he has a make-shift "clinic" with home-made anesthesia machines and... Oh good GOD... The place looked so 3rd world...

I called this veterinarian on the morning of August 4, 2005 - I told him that I believe Chickie is EGG-BOUND. I could tell by her stance... and have read up on this serious problem (and that it can/will lead to death!!) ...AND i could FEEL the egg.

So, the doc put Chickie under and felt around... he said he didn't feel any EGG. Thus, he felt she may have some other issue going on & said he'll draw some blood and send it in to the lab.

Shortly after Chickie and I returned home. Chickie was still as miserable as could be after she came out of the anesthesia...

I came out of the shower ....and look what i found:

It was mashed up and gooey, but sure enough: it was an EGG. I called the Doc immediately and said; "HOLD THE PRESS!!! Don't send the blood out to the lab! Chickie laid an egg - but soft shelled.... She WAS egg-bound." (I WANTED to say those words us women LOVE to say; "I TOLD YOU SO". It took all of my self-discipline to resist uttering those beautiful words)

So... Mystery solved, Chickie was back to her old self - BUT, she needed more CALCIUM in her diet. I was instructed to get some more calcium in her diet to avoid the soft-shell egg problem (which apparently is also yet another life-threatening problem with chickens)

Chickie receives a Get Well card from one of her fans, Penny G.

August 12, 2005

GRADUATION DAY

Chickie became more and more independant as time went on... USUALLY, when she joined me at the Jungle properties as I worked out there; she would have nothing to do with the other chickens... stick VERY closely to my side... and never venture too far.

But... as time went on.... she ventured further and further... and became more and more reluctant to get back in the car and go home with me (or come back home when i'd let her outside to play).

One day I almost lost her. It was in the WalMart parking lot of all places.

I was there to meet some clients who had to fill out their paperwork for a Bail Bond. During this time, I let Chickie down into the grass at the edge of the parkinglot to play. WELL, that little bugger went and climbed under this fence (which completely enclosed a large grassy area & ditch - where many other chickens were roaming around). She found all sorts of fun and exciting things to poke around with in there ...and when it came time that I had completed my paperwork transaction and it was time for me to go release the inmate from the jail: CHICKIE WOULD NOT COME. Nor could I go GET her because you can only get IN to this fenced in area if you are under 1-foot high. I am 5'9".

I had no choice. The people weren't about to WAIT for me to get Chickie to come. They wanted their son out of jail - NOW. So, I had to leave Walmart and go release the inmate.

Once I finished up, I quickly returned to WalMart and tried to get Chickie back. FORTUNATELY she was next to the fence - allllll the way across the other side of the field. I went over there and called desperately for her to come out. She would NOT come out.

It seemed hopeless, but DAMMIT: MY CHICKIE WAS NOT GOING TO BE A WALMART CHICKEN. HELL NO!! So, it was obvious she wanted her freedom and I was prepared to give it to her - But NOT at WalMart.

So i got down on the ground.... in the MUD... got my arms through under that fence and DRAGGED Chickie out of there.

Us 2 muddy chicks went quickly to my car, went home, and made preparations for her graduation.

The owners of The Jungle Properties (Dave & Nancy) were kind enough to help me with this huge transition. They allowed me to place her bed-basket and toys and food bowls in their carport ...and then allowed me all the time I needed to help her understand that this is her new home now. This is where she was born, this is where her family is, and many other chickens....

She was FREE now.

Dave and Nancy allowed her to get to know them... and showed her around the place... (she rarely ever went to their house - which is at the end of the property's driveway - but only a short walk and visual distance from the cottages where I work)

She explored around the carport for a while as we all watched her... Then i told Dave and Nancy that i was going to get in my car and pull it up to the cottage i was to clean that day and just see what happens.

What happened? SHE RAN AFTER ME THE MOMENT SHE SAW ME PULLING AWAY.

"Oh NO.........."; I thought to myself. This is NOT going to be easy.......

I started working and Chickie stayed close... but then she suddenly disappeared!!! I continued to work... and then about an hour later, Nancy walks over to inform me that Chickie had returned to the house and had been hanging out with THEM over there!!

OK! Terrific!!! So, I said I was not going to come say goodbye after I was through with the cottage. I was just going to get in my car and drive away and hope for the best - No looking back.

Dave and Nancy were kind enough to not only look after her, but also call me with reports on how she was doing.... How she fared through her first night there: They said there was no indication that she slept in her bed-basket... they had no idea where she spent the night... but when they came out of the house first thing in the morning, Chickie came running to greet them from somewhere.

Chickie was adjusting most perfectly.

AND, it did not take long before Chickie found herself a boyfriend!!

Ofcourse, I had to draft a little booklet to leave in the rental cottages so that the guests would know who Chickie is, how to handle her, what to feed her, what NOT to feed her, and to understand that she is no "common chicken" - and to expect her to come around for attention and food, etc. Which she most certainly did - and to the delight of the tourists!!!

The Guest Book pages began to fill with stories of Chickie and how she was a highlight of their stay in the cottages...

....And Chickie would never forget her "Mother Hen". I still come out to the Jungle Properties atleast 1x/week for my usual cleanings, and Chickie would come to greet me and tell me all about her new life and then demand food, ofcourse.

Chickie Story - Part 4

The Chickie Story - Part 4

CHICKIE: NO LONGER NAKED

No fine chicken should go without a nice wardrobe.

Truth of the matter was: I have a chicken... the chicken does not live in a cage... the chicken roams freely around my home... the chicken sleeps in my bed... the chicken POOPS.

I've read stories that chickens can be potty-trained. Tried, it. Didn't work. I was in need of emergency solutions.

Folks; you wouldn't believe it, but there are actually people out there who sell CHICKEN DIAPERS. You don't believe me? Check it out: chickendiapers.com

But, because Chickie was very much more deserving of something a little more classy... we went for the "Flight Suits" (aka: bird diapers). They come in various patterns and colours... and I found this wonderful gal named Wanda who was selling these "Flight Suits" on Ebay. I purchased from her (and exchanged many emails thereafter - what a great gal!!!)

Here Chickie will model for you a little more, and after this: The Flight Suit ended up in a storage box. She hated it. She refused to wear it. She preferred to return back to her au'naturalle state of being.... and i went back to full-time POOP PATROL.

Ya gotta admit...

Pretty darned cute, eh?

Chickie .....my finicky little bugger... became more and more demanding of what meals she would find appropriate and satisfying to her taste.

I sure wish I could include this little video clip I shot of her when she stole my steak off my dinner plate -- i video'd as she darted all over the house with that piece of steak dangling out of her mouth. There was NO getting my steak back... and I learned from there on that 2 dinner plates wasn't going to work because what was on HER dinner plate (even though it was the same damned thing that was on MY dinner plate) wasn't good enough & she would have to have what was on MY plate. Thus: I surrendered to sharing my dinners with her from 1 plate.

My son, Rain, demonstrates the dangers of eating in the company of Chickie-Meister:

Chickie & I were invited to a party

This afternoon, Chickie and I were invited to my friend's beach house for a big BBQ bash.(Well.... they didn't exactly specifically invite CHICKIE... but, we must ASSUME he is invited - being that EVERYONE in town knows that whereever Jaana goes: Chickie goes)

Chickie assessed their grass - He have it 4-stars.

Rick & Susan have GREAT grass.

I needed a babysitter....

The FOOD and BEVERAGES were INSIDE the house. And for some UNKNOWN REASON: Chickie was not allowed in the house (although DOGS and HUMANS were fully welcome to gallavant throughout the house - all of which makes NO sense to me.... but never mind) - I needed someone to watch over Chickie so i could run in and get myself a plate of food & drink.

My friend Corky reluctantly agreed to babysit Chickie for this purpose.

Why does he appear so SIDEWAYS about this simple request?

JULY 21, 2005

CHICKIE LAYS HER FIRST EGG!

The Mystery of "IS CHICKIE A HEN or a ROOSTER?" was solved! She started acting all funny and in distress... next thing i know: she disappeared under my nightstand. My Motherly-Hen instincts KNEW this chicken was getting ready to lay an egg!

I stood by anxiously like a father-to-be in the waiting room while she squatted quietly under my nightstand for what seemed like an eternity -- and then suddenly; out she came - with head held high - and proudly stepped aside to let me get a look at her first egg. It was small and rather pathetic looking... but, still: it was very much an egg.

I though of getting it bronzed or something... but it still remains in my fridge (stinking up the place by now) while I have yet to figure out what to do with it.

Additional note: The age-old question of "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" has been answered as well. The chicken came first.

Part 3 of the Chickie Story

Chickie Story - Part 3

**No, she did not drink this Mai Tai... She was simply resting here now after assaulting all other folks drinking/eating at the "Happy Talk Lounge" - with belly/crop full of all yummies obtained (by force) from all other diners at adjoining tables**

Alright.... Well... Chickie and I have been through a WHOLE LOT since Easter Weekend (when I had first been inflicted with a Chicken) ...... And, as you can see in this photo: CHICKIE was QUITE frazzled!!!!!! WHAT a RIDE we have been through!!!

Since the first 2 Chickie Sagas: A new system has seemingly been called into action with regards to my work: ....When one of my clients fail to appear to court: I am Summoned with an "Order to Show Cause" (an order to appear to court)

Well.... My Managing Agent (BOSS) did not take kindly to this at all. NO, not in the least. (After all: as a mere Bail Agent; any issues regarding forfeitures should not be directed towards independant agents such as myself & Chickie - but the Bail Company itself- from my understanding)

THUS: My WONDERFUL boss (GOD LOVE HIM - he is the VERY best and most WONDERFUL and AMAZING man on earth) immediately took charge - hired an attorney - and I was assured it was all taken care of.

OOOOOPS. Not quite.....As Chickie and I were heading into town one day, innocently enough thinking that all was good with the world,.... to place one of our Bail Jumpers back into custody: We suddenly find our very own SELVES being arrested!

Yes..... Yo got that right: Chickie and I were arrested for "Contempt" due to one of my defendant's failure to appear at court (and my very OWN failure to appear in court regarding HIS failure to appear in court - a matter which I thought had been resolved)

Ofourse my WONDERFUL BOSS got us bailed out IMMEDIATELY and without hesitation & went straight to work with hiring a NEW attorney.

So, now we have established a new meaning to "Jail Birds" (Bad Chicks?) :-) NOT to worry.... Chickie and I had great representation, appeared at court with our heads held high on June 2nd .... and our/my case was dismissed.

Chickie and I take a LOT of beach breaks... One of the greatest benefits of my occupation(s) is that I can make many quick (or long) breaks for my #1 favorite sport: Sunbathing.

And as I am slowly begining to get the knack of how to be a Mother Hen, i realized that as she is getting larger, the cool shade retreats under my neck or legs have become far too cramped of a space for her.

SO.... I got her a beach chair. Yes, you heard it right. Chickie got her very own beach chair.

CHICKIE STORY - PART 2

PART 2 OF THE CHICKIE STORY -- CONTINUED

SO... it did not take long for me to realize that what i was dealing with was no "ordinary domestic bird". This chicken could not be caged (my fault: i spoiled him/her straight away and there was no turning back) and FORTUNATELY, i work 2 jobs - both of which allow me to allow Chickie to join along with me as a side-kick.

Speaking of Sidekick - Here she is in my Suzuki Sidekick (yes: later i determined Chickie's sex - stay tuned!) ...anyway: leave her in the car alone for even a second, and she goes bonkers.

This had become a problem only after she had grown a bit and now the staff at the grocery store had to sadly tell me that I could no longer bring Chickie in... and then Chickie was been officially banned from going into the office of the Jail after pooping on the Inmate'sVisitor Registration book. (Oh, BTW: I am a Bail Bondsman)

But, we resolved that situation now as I deliver my bail bonds to the Sgt through the door while Chickie triumphantly balances on my OTHER hand extended OUTSIDE the door.

However: She remained very much welcome in the court house, police stations and almost all other places of business (work-related or not).

Chickie has thus far bailed out approx 48 criminals (with some assistance from Mother Hen), ... Chickie has become THE ITEM at the Court House, Jail facility, Police substations and Head Quarters.

Being a Bail Bonds Chick is exhausting work. We all need a break now and then....

Ok... This is starting to get a little rediculous....

I had surrendered to the fact that I had become Mother HEN and that I had lost all control over my life & that it had become unmanageable....

And just as I was laying in bed (with Chickie beside me - laying in that same pathetically lazy position) pondering over the UNTHINKABLE: "Perhaps I could just drop Chickie off somewhere, drive away.... don't look back... and she'd manage.... I'd ASSURE myself that she'd manage...."

....Well: Just LOOK at the pictures.

For GOD'S SAKE. Don't ANYONE tell me that this creature is any dumber than Einstein himself.

Time for Chickie to start getting into a little exercise routine.

to be continued....

CHICKIE STORY - Chapter 1

THE CHICKIE STORY

Before I go straight into this unusual story, here's a little background info:

The roosters and hens all seek refuge at "The Jungle Properties" (a vacation rental escape - 2 cottages situated between 2 streams & chicken paradise).

"L.J" (a Rooster) came to the property injured - and I, being the softy that I am, was determined to nurture him back to health.

LJ was named by one of the vacationers who frequent the rental cottages, and quite quickly; LJ became the Jungle Properties "Mascot" & was well loved & pampered by all who came through. (By the way: if by chance one of you were the guest of the "Jungle Bungalow" who supplied L.J with this "personalized" bowl: I never got a chance to thank you for your donation!!! -- so... Thank you!)

But, sadly his life was cut short by a neighbor's hunting dog....

Being that I had only recently (prior to meetin LJ) lost my sweet little fur-baby love of my life(small terrier mix doggy) and had then grown so attached to L.J., I was heart-broken yet AGAIN.

However.... where there is an open heart, there is one to fill it somewhere where & when you least expect it.

My landlord had told me I am not allowed dogs... or cats... <<JUST SLIT MY THROAT, WHY DON'T YOU?>> ....Finally we came to a compromise. He said I can have a BIRD. I spent quite a deal of time looking for Cockateil breeders (as I was a breeder once as well, and of all the parrots and birds I've ever raised; I have a special fondness for them) - But no luck...

And so, broken hearted; I returned to the Jungle Properties for my usual routine checks on the cottages....

It was Easter Sunday, 2005....

Immediately a screaming little chick sound came to my attention - from way back in the jungle brush somewhere in the pouring rain. Without knowing what laid ahead of me, i went into the jungle to seek out the urgent CHEEPS for help.

Sure enough: there he/she was - A little helpless fur-ball lodged inside of a big jungle plant (as seen in such movies as "Jurassic Park")(Which was filmed here, by the way). I couldn't just turn my back on the chick -- COULD YOU???? (and besides... it was EASTER SUNDAY. Couldn't there have been a stronger message there?) ....and being that I could not find a mother hen anywhere in sight, I brought the chick home.

I immediately got on my computer and contacted my friends in my online group forum to see if ANYONE there could offer me some HELP (as i did not know how to care for a baby chick).

Via the assistance from a group member from my online forum: I was placed in contact with Sandra, "The Chicken Expert", in Montana who immediately called me (all the way from MONTANA to HAWAII!!) & guided me with full step-by-step instructions on how to save this chick's life.

**SANDRA, "THE Chicken Expert", can be reached at: mailto:fiegis@montanadsl.net (She raises an AMAZING array of various breeds of chickens and other birds that I know very little about - and is INCREDIBLY knowledgeable. Hence; THE Chicken Expert)

(Would you believe: A group forum having nothing to do with chickiens, hard-boiled EGGS and a stranger across the globe was what ultimately saved this chick's life????)

As you can see in these photos: Chickie-Meister wasted very little time in taking charge of the situation (ME) --- (and became a bit of a computer-hog if you ask me....)

...and let the inprinting begin: PRONTO

This whole deal about "inprinting" wasn't quite STRESSED to me very clearly...

Not only did I have the chick back to health and eating.... BUT NOW I HAD SIGNED SOME SORT OF CONTRACT OF MOTHER NATURE (WHICH WAS NON-NEGOTIABLE, I MIGHT ADD) - and forever destined to take over as Chickie's MOTHER HEN(!?!??)

Have you ever been a mother HEN? GOD BLESS all mother Hens. I had NO IDEA..... But... now I was Mother Hen.

....and NO: Chickie could NOT be left alone or even be burdened with having any distance (not a single MILLIMETER) from the NEW mother hen (me). This is only the begining....

Oh Lord... Help the next poor soul with the soft heart who comes across a baby chick in distress.....

This story continues and the plot thickens in the following chapters....

***IF YOU ARE READING THIS FROM THE FIRST PAGE, YOU MUST CLICK ON "THE CHICKIE STORY" AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE (don't ask me why...), THEN YOU WILL EITHER WIND UP AT THE VERY MOST RECENT POSTING AND HAVE TO BACK-TRACK DOWN TO FOLLOW THE STORY "BACKWARDS" AND SCROLL DOWN TO FIND THE ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS.... (??) I don't know.... this Blog site is not quite as user-friendly as I had hoped, but then again: WHAT can one expect for a FREE service? So, God Bless those who have set all these blogger sites up.

Enjoy! Alooooooooooha!

-Jaana